When you say “I feel devastated” you’re describing how something, that really mattered to you and probably relates to your sense of identity, has been destroyed.
It’s often accompanied by feeling crushed or collapsed, with swirling feelings of deep hurt, grief and even shame at times.
Self recrimination, inner or outward directed anger and blame are also a common part of the experience.
How we deal with it and what we feel, of course, depends a lot on the circumstances; the situation that has precipitated the sense of devastation.
The situations I hear about most, that spark devastation are those that involve betrayal, loss/endings (eg relationship break up, losing a job or even the death of a loved one) and failure.
I know that betrayal, relationship breakups and failure are the things that have thrown me into a state of devastation. It can feel like the most excruciating and debilitating time, bringing our whole life and sense of self into question.
But with an open mind, experience can educate and I’ve found there are 6 mindsets that can help you get over devastation and come out the other side stronger than ever.
I’ll be sharing them in this episode, so click that play button and let’s get into it!
MINDSET 1: LEARNING TO GET THROUGH IS ESSENTIAL
This attitude takes you beyond the specifics of the current situation and puts you in discovery mode.
MINDSET 2: I AM NOT DEFINED BY THIS
As best you can don't generalise the situation into the rest of your life.
This is a happening, which will pass and does not define you.
Self Care Mindsets
MINDSET 3: BE KIND TO YOU
Be gentle with you. Self judgement, self berating and self blame will only heap on additional suffering. We are always doing the best we can given what we know, so be self-forgiving.
MINDSET 4: GIVE YOURSELF SPACE TO FEEL
Suppressing your feelings is laying a landmine in your psyche - so get out your journal, or seek help, but be sure to feel your feelings and let those emotions move through.
Moving Forward Mindsets
MINDSET 5: TAKE PRACTICAL STEPS
In amongst the emotion of it all, there will be practical things to take care of. Get help if needs be, but remember to do those things.
MINDSET 6: CONSIDER THE BIGGER LESSON
Once the emotional heat has cooled, you can start to inquire about the bigger lesson. This will give you a focus to move forward and take something truly positive from the whole experience.