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3 Kinds Of Conflict (That Cause Shut Down And Pain) | Part 1: Inner Conflict | BABH S2Ep115

season 2 Jan 19, 2022

EPISODE 115: 3 Kinds Of Conflict (That Cause Shut Down And Pain) | Part 1: Inner Conflict

Today I’m kicking off a 3 part series looking at the challenges, psychology and impact of conflict issues.

There are 3 kinds of conflict that cause shut down and pain and, through the course of my group work and 1:1 practice, I’ve found that for many, these conflict issues are the number one cause of feeling blocked, stuck and confused.

It can be tricky to understand what’s actually happening in the midst of it all, let alone navigate out to calmer and more productive waters. And unfortunately the cost of not doing so can run very very high!

So in these episodes I want to give you some insight into each of the 3 kinds of conflict.

We’ll look at what may be happening internally that get’s you all blocked up.
Plus I’ll be offering some simple steps you can take to move you forward.

Also I’ve got an event coming up that I think you’re gonna love. This is where I’ll be teaching you the simplest and most effective tool I know for resolving all 3 kinds of conflict and finding harmony - it’s a slice of genius and works like magic and I pretty much use it with every single client I see… and I’ll be letting you know you how you can join me for that at the end of this episode.

So stay with me, hit that play button and let’s dive in to Part 1: Internal Conflict!

Quick Links from this episode:


Good Conflict vs Bad Conflict:

  • Not all conflict is bad
  • The necessity for healthy (good) conflict - growth, comfort zones, failure, real discussion etc
  • Comfort with the discomfort
  • Bad - unhealthy attachments, identity and status battle, status quo against the energy shift - nothing to do with progress

Inner Conflict:

What Is It?

  • The inner community - aspects of self
  • Different identities
Good girl, bad girl
  • Different motivations/fears

    some swayed by others, some by self etc
  • Example: 
Should I stay or leave a situation: long term relationship
    Freedom part: longs to un-clip her wings, get the love she deserves and fears feeling trapped and unfulfilled forever

    Security part: Has fears of change, of financial implications, of the conflict of the separation process. It speaks of how things will get better or you should put up with it and you’re just being selfish. Creates terrifying stories of loneliness and abandonment by mutual friends

What happens internally (when there’s an issue) + External impact (cost)

  • Paralysis - procrastination (diversions - rationalisations - shrinking) - lockdown/shut down

    COST: Paralysis takes a LOT of energy - exhausting - things can come to a head… knock on to yourself
  • Polarity - flip-flopping 

    COST: Inconsistency - Self betrayal loss of self trust, loss of confidence, erosion of self worth - lack of commitment to patchy results (energetics) - sense of pointlessness (rationalisation stories - nothing works out for me) leads to 👇🏻
  • Self attack - cruel mind, criticism - escalates 

    COST: Living in cruel world, self harm, as above loss of confidence/self worth - ultimately this is a depressive environment
  • Projection - too much inward? - spit it outward - active/passive aggression
    COST: What goes out comes back anyway - savage attack becomes guilt, shame - back to inner attack BUT added extra layer - now red herring of the behaviour hides the actual issue (conflict issue) more

NOTE: All this comes from a basic internal conflict and there are simple ways to resolve that. The best I know of is what I'll be teaching you at The Harmony Equation Event.

A Perspective Gem That Will Help The Symptoms

The thing to understand about inner conflict is…

  • Find the meta intention - something both parts can agree on
  • Conflict about how is much easier to resolve than conflict about what

What’s a strategy or baby step?

Listen to S1Ep5 "making the decision to let go" which gives a framework for connecting with your inner decision maker, which will help overcome paralysis

And the simplest cure for conflict issues?

Book your place on The Harmony Equation

Discover the world's simplest tool for resolving conflict and finding harmony.

Whether it's conflict with others, inner conflict or issues that come up for you when those around you are in conflict, this workshop will give you the keys to inner peace, harmony and resolution.

Click Here To Find Out More & Get Your Ticket


Episode 5 gives a framework for connecting with your inner decision maker, which will help overcome paralysisLISTEN HERE

Episode 74 This is a great episode to get some background on the new paradigmn of relating which underpins The Harmony Equation: LISTEN HERE


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