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Am I Resistant Or Decided? | Turning Self-Doubt Into Self-Confidence | BABH S1Ep44

season 1 Jul 28, 2020

EPISODE 44: Am I Resistant Or Decided? | Turning Self-Doubt Into Self-Confidence

In this episode we take a look at a major symptom and cause of self-doubt and how you can turn that around to self-confidence.

If you've suffered from self-doubt at all, you know how excruciating it can be and how having to make decisions or state your preferences can end up being a terrifying prospect. You end up looking to someone or something else to make them, but ultimately you feel more and more powerless, more and more irrelevant.

In this episode you'll discover what at the route of that painful cycle and what you need to do to break it. Which means you'll have a clear path to confidence, self-trust, self-validation; a positive cycle that can transform your life.

So, hit that play button and let's get into it!


Boundary issues are one of THE main causes of relational conflict, heart ache and a lack of purpose.

In a few short weeks, I’m going to be re-opening Boundary Bootcamp, my stellar 4 week online course where you’ll get everything you need to overcome your boundary blocks, build healthy boundaries that work for you (and hold them, even in the face of resistance) so you can start feeling great about yourself, revamp your relationships so they’re juicier, healthier and harmonious without you having to compromise and create a life that works for you!

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NOTES:

"You know the answer. There's just a story in the way"

Underneath it all we simply know: what feels right to us and what doesn't.

Self doubt kicks in when we are seduced away from our knowing by a story or a dogma; usually inherited from someone else. We give them (or the story) our authority.

Examples:

SPIRITUAL DOGMA

  • You haven't learned your lesson yet
  • They (or the situation) is just a mirror for you. In other words, it's your fault.
  • It's just your stuff

CULTURAL DOGMA

  • You're selfish/difficult
  • Who are you to think that/want that/feel that?

The hidden message is "It's not OK to trust your own instincts/feelings/preferences". In other words, "It's not OK to be you"

When we take that on we internalise the gaslighting; the invalidation of our feelings and who we are.

The Natural Path Interrupted

The Natural Path:

  1. Certainty of feeling leads to
  2. Affirmative action.

The Interrupted Path:

  1. Certainty of feeling
  2. Interrupted by story/dogma, which when entertained leads to
  3. Doubt, which leads to
  4. Paralysis/inaction
  5. U-turns
  6. Self-denial (with rationalisations strengthened by confirmation bias)
  7. Further self-doubt and self mis-trust (the cycles deepens)

What To Do To Get Back To The Natural Path:

  1. Acknowledge the pattern that's happening
  2. Find the interruptive story/dogma
  3. Bust the myth of the story
  4. Build self-trust through action and practice
  5. Each situation you deal with adds to the trust tank

Because these issues are about honouring your feelings and preferences, they are boundary issues.

Boundary Bootcamp

Boundary Bootcamp gives you the tools and takes you through this process so you can have and hold strong healthy boundaries. That means you can connect with your instincts and feelings, learn to discern resistance from your truth and allow yourself to be the authority when it comes to what works and what doesn't work for you.

That makes your decisions clearer to you which makes your communication clearer to others which means you experience 'cleaner' relational interactions.

This is a positive spiral which gives you more energy, more self-trust, a greater sense of empowerment and confidence. Because you begin to truly realise you matter, you become more visible to others who start to respond much better.

So, even though it can take some work, the rewards are well worth the effort and your life can dramatically transform for the better.

 

Don't miss the launch offer:

GET ON THE BOUNDARY BOOTCAMP WAIT LIST


RELATED LINKS:

1:1 Sessions with Joel 👆🏻

Click image to get The NPA Process Sheet for free 👆🏻


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