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Why Am I Easily Influenced By Other People's Opinions? | BABH S1Ep72

season 1 Feb 16, 2021

EPISODE 72: Why Am I Easily Influenced By Other People's Opinions?

Do you often feel like you don't really know what you want?

And even if you do know what you want - somehow, if someone else expresses their wants, needs or opinions strongly... you find yourself going along with that instead?

You're not alone with this condition. It absolutely sucks - and you deserve better!

So in this episode we're taking a look at a few hard truths that answer the question, "Why am I easily influenced by other people's opinions?"

We'll look at:

  • The strategies we employ that make us easily influenced
  • Where this pattern comes from
  • The myths that keep the strategy in place and
  • How you can break free so you can regain a sense of control and authority in your life!

So click that play button and let's get to it!


NOTES:

The Strategy Laid Bare

Childhood experiences and conditioning can make us afraid to assert our own wants and needs and learn to make the opinion of others matter more than our own. As a child that feels safer in the environment we're in. As an adult it can become debilitating and make the idea of committing to an opinion, choice or perspective terrifying. So we tend to wait, assess those around us and agree with whatever their opinion is (at least outwardly!)

Laid bare, here's the strategy:

DON'T COMMIT. Wait. Check others. Agree.

If we do have a preference with some attachment then, rather than assert it, we utilise a variation that adds in passive control, hoping to shift someone else to take responsibility for deciding something that meets our needs:

DON'T COMMIT. Wait. Check others. If not what we want the HINT. Hope someone else takes responsibility and makes the suggestion we want. Agree.

Of course that 'Hint' can take many forms and if escalated is the source of passive aggressive behaviours

Facing The Ugly Truth

In order to change this you need to acknowledge that what you're really afraid of is taking responsibility for standing in YOU! Of becoming visible and open to conflict and contradiction.

Without this there is

  • A vicious cycle of self-mistrust from repeated capitulations when we do stand up for what we want
  • Fear of being held accountable
  • Fear of abandonment and rejection
  • An ongoing sense of a hollowed out, meaningless life

A Path To Freedom And Empowerment

In order to change this behaviour:

  • Bust these myths by committing to a practice of action (ie expressing you wants/needs/opinions)
  • Frame it a exploration/experimentation where 'failure' is part of the process (this offsets the vicious cycle)
  • Look at the personal cost of continuing the old strategy
  • Look at the personal gain of committing to the change

Boundary Bootcamp is an excellent framework to help you make this commitment, keep this commitment and action it over a 4-week period. CLICK HERE TO MAKE THAT COMMITMENT NOW


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BOUNDARY BOOTCAMP

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Now is the time to get in to Boundary Bootcamp, my stellar 4 week online course where you’ll get everything you need to overcome your boundary blocks, build healthy boundaries that work for you (and hold them, even in the face of resistance) so you can start feeling great about yourself, revamp your relationships so they’re juicier, healthier and harmonious without you having to compromise and create a life that works for you!

Let's do this:

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