Do you often feel like you don't really know what you want?
And even if you do know what you want - somehow, if someone else expresses their wants, needs or opinions strongly... you find yourself going along with that instead?
You're not alone with this condition. It absolutely sucks - and you deserve better!
So in this episode we're taking a look at a few hard truths that answer the question, "Why am I easily influenced by other people's opinions?"
We'll look at:
So click that play button and let's get to it!
The Strategy Laid Bare
Childhood experiences and conditioning can make us afraid to assert our own wants and needs and learn to make the opinion of others matter more than our own. As a child that feels safer in the environment we're in. As an adult it can become debilitating and make the idea of committing to an opinion, choice or perspective terrifying. So we tend to wait, assess those around us and agree with whatever their opinion is (at least outwardly!)
Laid bare, here's the strategy:
DON'T COMMIT. Wait. Check others. Agree.
If we do have a preference with some attachment then, rather than assert it, we utilise a variation that adds in passive control, hoping to shift someone else to take responsibility for deciding something that meets our needs:
DON'T COMMIT. Wait. Check others. If not what we want the HINT. Hope someone else takes responsibility and makes the suggestion we want. Agree.
Of course that 'Hint' can take many forms and if escalated is the source of passive aggressive behaviours
Facing The Ugly Truth
In order to change this you need to acknowledge that what you're really afraid of is taking responsibility for standing in YOU! Of becoming visible and open to conflict and contradiction.
Without this there is
A Path To Freedom And Empowerment
In order to change this behaviour:
Boundary issues are one of THE main causes of relational conflict, heart ache and a lack of purpose.
Now is the time to get in to Boundary Bootcamp, my stellar 4 week online course where you’ll get everything you need to overcome your boundary blocks, build healthy boundaries that work for you (and hold them, even in the face of resistance) so you can start feeling great about yourself, revamp your relationships so they’re juicier, healthier and harmonious without you having to compromise and create a life that works for you!
Let's do this: