BABH S1Ep10: 14 Festive FUBARS You Shouldn't Take Personally

Joel Young:

Hello. Hello, hello and welcome to the be a brilliant human podcast with me, Joe Young and we're up to episode 10 double figures. Woo. So welcome. If you are brand new and you found us, you found us in Christmas Eve mode. So fabulous is lovely. I welcome you here with open arms and all of you regular listeners. I love you. I love that you spend the time with me on a Tuesday or whenever you listened to it, wherever you listen to it in the car, doing the dishes in your ears and your headphones. Who knows where you listen to it. But you can let me know. As always, I encourage you to leave me a message. You can go to the new website. If you didn't hear last week's episode, I have set up the be a brilliant human.com website where you will find the show notes, you can find transcriptions.

It's an easy place for you to find everything. And I'll any links that I refer to will be on those show notes and there's the general resources that I do refer to an regular basis will be there too. And if you're looking for any particular episode and know the number of it, you can just do beabrillianthuman.com/number of episode. In this case it would be beabrillianthuman.com/10 will take you straight to the show notes for this page. So as I'm recording this, it is still December and last week was the first week of December and I decided and I told you that we'd be doing themed Christmas themed podcast this month to celebrate the festive season. So we continue with that today. And on the note of the Christmassy-ness I thought I would leave you another one of my songs at the end of this episode, so make sure you stay after the mood.

This one is a Christmas song, which I wrote back in about 2013 and I thought it would be quite fun to, to write a song, which was, I was aiming for that sort of trashy, catchy pop Christmas song. I think I kind of nailed it with the trashy and it's a bit catchy. So if you're curious to listen, it's called Christmas time again and it's actually kind of on the topic of it sort of looks at the cynicism of, Oh no, it's Christmas, but you just got to find love and a love of everything, not just romantic love. So that song will be at the end after the moo. So stay tuned. If you want to hear Christmas time again by Joe Young, otherwise known as portal 29 when it comes to the dancy end of the spectrum. So today we are looking at 14 festive FUBARs you shouldn't take personally.

Now you may be someone who's going FUBARs. What's a FUBAR? FUBAR is an, I think it's called an acronym, isn't it? A series of letters that mean words independently. And it basically means F'd up beyond all recognition. I think it's originally a military thing FUBAR, who knows, but it has great alliteration 40 festive FUBARs so I thought I'd go with it for this one. So and these are situations that I believe it would be wise not to take personally. So before we get into the 14 festive FUBARs I like saying that, don't I, let's talk a little bit about not taking things personally or taking things personally and, and what that means. So as you undoubtedly know, if you've listened to this at all, I am Joel young, the creator and custodian of NPA, which stands for non personal awareness and it all begins with the NPA process.

But I haven't really gone into the whole taking things personally things. So let me just give you a, a very, very kind of a potted version of how I look at taking things. Personally. I think for the most part, taking things personally is sort of looked at through a fairly superficial filter I've discovered since NPA came along back in 2007. Then in a way taking things personally, it's one of the sort of root causes of suffering cause it really speaks to identity. It speaks to sort of saying that's me. That is so in a way, taking things personally is, I mean it is that like you take something on a and sort of, we make it about us when it's really not. So here's the interesting thing about that. If if you say it's about me or you take it on in that way, it's a bit like you enter, you enter Velcro world like to call it Velcro world Velcro that that's hooks and loops.

And when you put them together, they stick and they're very, very tricky to pull apart. So when, when you go around and you're taking things on and making it about you, you're in this Velcro wall. So you're hanging onto things and they sort of weigh you down. You know, it's like you, if you're someone who takes things personally a lot, it would be recognise this. You know, you go to the office in the morning and you come back and you feel like, you know all your, you've got this Velcro suit on and all other people's fluff just kind of sticks to you and you come home with this like a big fluff ball wandering while you're knackered and and everything's weighing you down. So in a way, taking things personally, it sort of, it, it sort of taking it on gives you a sense of having the weight and the stress of doing that.

And an interesting thing about it is when you do take something on, when you identify with something, when you said, that's me, that is, which is what we sort of subtly do underneath the surface. When we take things personally, it's a way that you begin to express it. Now, I don't want to go deep into how that works from an energetic perspective, but just take my word for it as, as you take on an energy, when you take some idea on, when you take some opinion, some sort of belief, if you like about an idea, then you'll begin to express it in some form. Not always, obviously, but it will sort of live its life through you. So actually remembering to not take things personally is a very freeing perspective. You sort of go from that Velcro well, but everything's sticking to you to kind of Teflon world like the pans, you know, Teflon pans were nonstick, so things can just sort of slide off.

And it's not about not experiencing life quite the opposite really, especially from an NPA perspective. But it does mean that things don't stick to you and hang around. They can just sort of pass through or just slide off you. However, as it's the Christmas season, there's those stressy moments. You know, well in those stressy moments where you can probably most benefit from, from the awareness that it's not personal. It can actually be very challenging to connect, which is where, of course the NPA process can really help you. So one thing that I'm going to strongly encourage you to do if you haven't done it already is go and download the NPA process sheet. It's absolutely free. You can get it via the beabrillianthuman.com website. You can literally go to beabrillianthuman.com/npasheet (that's November Papa alpha sheet). And that will get you to a place where you can just give me your email address and I will send you the sheet.

And I'm also going to recommend, especially on the back of today's episode when you do download the sheet, one thing that happens as well, I send you the sheet for free. You have to do anything else. But you do get offered the NPA basic training at a very good discount. And I recommend that you get that. If that's like your one gift to yourself this Christmas, then go get the NPA basic training and it will kind of over one thing. It will really share with you something that I am not going to go into today today on this podcast, but why fundamentally nothing is personal. And more importantly perhaps for today is how to use the NPA process, which is by the way, the simplest, most effective way I know to on the fly stop the stress of taking things personally. So how cool is that?

So go do it. beabrillianthuman.com/NPAsheet, do it now or at least at the end. So, so my list of 14 festive FUBARs sort of what I'm doing here is highlighting sort of some intense opportunities we have to take things personally and stress out that can happen over the busy festive season. So it's kind of a list of some common situations where you might be tempted to make it personal. And the list is sort of put out as a set of invitations. They're really invitations in these moments to remember that it's not personal. And sort of having this, having that thought, it's not personal, preloaded into your awareness will help you feel much freer and easier and sort of and able to entertain a genuine smile throughout the festivities. So you think of it as preventative medicine. So as you hear these, these thoughts, these ideas, these situations, I'm going to go into each situation and offer some perspectives for each.

You can drink in the notion that you can easily remember that it's not personal. If these situations occur. And by the way, one of the great gifts of NPA is a practise of you do the NPA process a lot. What people find is it sort of wakes up that remembering inside of them so it can wake up the, the sort of that, it's like your word, your, it's not personal glasses. It's not personal, it's not personal, it's not personal. So it becomes much more available, which is an incredibly powerful set of glasses to use the metaphor, very powerful perspective to have very awake in and alive in you. So let's get to those festive FUBAR showing [music].

So this is a list of two halves. I think I'm going to do it as well. I'll do the run up to Christmas first of all. And then after that we'll look at Christmas day and boxing day itself. So let's begin the list in the run up to Christmas number one. So when you're jostled in the supermarket aisles, remember it's not personal. So I don't know if I know anybody who hasn't experienced this, going to a supermarket around the time of Christmas. It can be a touch busy, can't it? And one of the things that I say often is it's when it's so busy and packed and there's, you know, the, the shopping trolley is, is sort of being pushed around and there's kids screaming and someone just kinda Rams into you or Jostle's or, or cuts you up in the aisle. It's very easy there to kind of take it personally and to get really tangled up in, you know, they shouldn't do that or they should behave better, that kind of thing.

So it's good to remember the, you know, fundamentally it's not personal. They're not probably thinking about you at all. And you could argue, well they should be noticing. They should be thinking. I'm very, I'm very caring and very considerate of other people, but not everybody is. They're in their own worlds and that's kind of the point really being in their own world, in their own world that they kind of they probably accidentally did it and then they didn't even notice perhaps that they, they banged into you either way. It's good to not take it personally because again, if you take it personally, you're going to be doing the Velcro thing and attaching yourself to it. And you know what, even if they, they are being deliberately shitty. I mean, let's face it, we've probably all seen someone in supermarket, especially that busy time and they're just being pushy and, and all the rest of it, you still have a choice.

Whether you take that on as taking that personally, like, like it's really, it's really about you. I mean, you could be anybody. I don't care if it's you or not, you or somebody else, they're just in their own agenda. They're in their own thing. So when it comes to choice, and I'm going to kind of come back to this theme throughout this list, it's worth just, just taking a moment to think, you know, that there's a choice here. Some on, you know, Rams, you on the ankles. It's not pleasant from behind. You turn around and they seem completely unapologetic. So you kind of have a choice that you can take it personally and get into an internal fight that takes you into Velcro world. It'll stick to you. What does that do to you? You know, how does that make you feel? Is that kind or unkind to you?

You know, it's, Oh, you gotta you know what, it's not personal. Yeah, it happened. And you know, you could even maybe say something, but if you're not taking it personally, you're not tying up, you're much freer to be at choice. And chances are the experiences, whether it's the, the slight ankle burn or whatever, will pass a lot quickly, quickly, quickly, a lot, quickly, a lot quicker because because you're not holding onto it, which is an essence of not taking things personally. So number two, shopping frenzy is in the air. Remember to not take it personally because it's not personal. So that's shopping a frenzy thing in the run up to Christmas. It can be mad kind of the, again, not just in the supermarket, but any high street you walk down is likely to be crazy with people. Plus there's, you know, all the internet and everything's bombarding you with buy this.

for Christmas, buy this for Christmas, you're person of significance needs this. If you don't buy it for them, you don't love them. There's this shopping frenzy and it's just in the air and it's very easy again, to get tangled up in that. So whether you're someone who, who fights it, I hate the commercialism of Christmas you know, just by fighting it, you're going to get tangled up in it. So it's going to affect you. You express it in some way, even if it's being expressed as pure frustration or, or outrage or whatever it is or you might get tied up in it in a more positive way, which is the, you know, you go into a shopping frenzy. Now of course, the word frenzy itself doesn't imply someone who's sort of at peace and at choice does it so you can sort of bar skin in the weather of the frenzy rather than getting caught up in it, sort of almost not at choice being bombarded by these hypnotic commercial messages.

But fundamentally it is actually it's, it is like a buzz in the air. I mean, it's the nature of, of energy and in fact, I want, I am slipping kind of into the area of why fundamentally nothing is personal, but there are these, this, it's like a broadcast of of this frenzy. That doesn't mean that you have to tune into, in fact, you kind of have to sort of take it personally, make it about you, connect to it, identify with it in order to sort of tune in and therefore express it. It's, remember it's just there in the air. Doesn't mean you have to tune it in the same way that you don't have to listen to death metal FM. Although I'm sure death metal FM is happening all around us right now. It's not personal anymore than the frenzy of shopping is.

So don't take it personally. Number three. Number three. So if someone sends harsh words your way, remember that fundamentally it's not personal. So again, in this busy period, people are generally, there's a lot of stress people around. Maybe someone sends some harsh words your way out. It could be sort of family or it could be just a random person on the street. But these words coming away, again, remember that they're not personal. Because if you think about it, it's because that's, that's an expression that comes from them because they are tuned in to some crappy energy. So they've taken something personally and they're expressing it. So again, it's, it's not about you and you do have a choice about how you receive that as ever. And I've been mentioning throughout the, again, the NPA process is fricking genius. If you find that you take something on, someone said something to you in a crappy way and you take it on, you can use the MK process to facilitate that letting go so you don't hang onto it and drag it around with you for the rest of the day.

Number four, kind of tongue in cheek, this one, but there is a point. So if you didn't get a snug at the Christmas party, remember, it's not a personal LOLs so maybe it's not about not getting a snowbird, the Christmas party. Maybe you shouldn't get us up at the Christmas party. That's very bad. But it's really, I want to tell to talk about this when in terms of of attraction, because the whole Christmas party thing and going out and all that kind of stuff, a lot of, a lot of what goes on in people's minds, especially if they say haven't got a partner and they're single and you know, all that kind of thing. And then they might experience a sense of rejection and then even convert that into sort of some major self punishment. Well, normally that's sort of, it's a symptom of having taken a, the absence of those experiences, the absence of those experiences.

Personally. That's a mouthful, isn't it? So so the thing is to investigate your openness to the experience. That may sound a bit like pointing the finger back at you in this situation, but, well, there's two sides there. Firstly, you know, don't beat yourself up because the, someone didn't appreciate the wonders of you. That's not about you because you are wonderful. That's, it's, you can't help but be wonderful. And there's, there are people around that will look at you where they might not look at somebody else and they'll look at you and go, heavens, she's gorgeous or good heavens, he's gorgeous whichever way it is. And but one thing if we take this a step deeper it reminds me of of a story from sort of the early days of NPA really. And this is coming round to the idea of being open and available to those experiences.

Cause one way we can take things personally is to say that's not me. So if prior to the whole Christmas period you've got this identification that you're unattractive or that you are somehow you're the one that doesn't get, you know, doesn't get the snug at the Christmas party when you really want one, you're sort of already putting those barriers up. And NPA can, can be used to allow you to sort of why they include yourself in that vibration to open your doors to things. So if you go on that route and think, well, maybe I'm, I'm just not available. There's something going on with me that means that my identity, which is putting out all of the energy for me is closed down to it, then you can, you can open the doors. So the story that I remember from the early days of MPA is, is Barry's story and buried come to to a group event.

And there was a lot of talk about love in general and being open to love. And I'm gonna make this a short version of the story, but basically he and his arms, cause it was like, you know, it's bullshit. You know, love one talks about love. I come to these things, I pay money to come to these things and everyone talks about love. I didn't even know what it means. So what I did was I said, well, it sounds like you, you've excluded yourself, you know, your, your, your bury, the identification, the thing you've taken personally is the idea that the, I'm Barry, who doesn't receive level, no, love comes to Barry. So we did a process which was simply to allow him to let in love. It was just an NPA process. And in the space of about eight minutes. I mean the process itself can take like, I don't know, 20 seconds to do the actual process, the words themselves plus the setup.

And then what happens afterwards? They're mostly, it will be just maybe a few seconds, maybe a couple of minutes is sort of quite common in terms of what you experience when you've said the words is spoken where process. But in Barry's case it took him about eight minutes because, well it did in opening the doors, it was like opening a tsunami and this wave of love came pushing out a lot of anger. A lot of the old cause anger can be built up like a wall of resentment, sort of push it out through. And then as he finished that, he sort of, he opened his eyes slowly and looked up and everyone in that room really knew that in that moment buried let in love, he'd opened his doors to love. And it's a very interesting thing because his, his wife was sat next to him at the time and and she just mouthed me, thank you very much.

It's like to be married to this guy who not been available for love all these years. So ever. You don't get a snug at the Christmas party. There's some other form of, of absence of the attraction or the attracting someone that, that you want. Consider that there may be some, some work to do on the identifications you've got going on and also get the side of that coin, as I said, is maybe they're just not seeing your marvelousness and that is not actually about you. It's about them. And what are their rules, attractor patterns and all of those things. All right, happen just to number five. So if you get a headache, remember it's not personal. So all this busy-ness, the shopping trolleys and the frenzy in the air. I know a lot of people will sort of say, Oh God, this Christmas thing, it's giving me a headache now.

Interesting thing, isn't it to say that headaches are not personal? Well, it's my headache, but that whole thing of my headache. Can you see how in a way you've made it yours, you've owned it, you've claimed it, you've made it like this is my headache. I own it. I'm going to cling to it. So really coming into the awareness that even headaches are not personal. If you think about a headache even as a broadcast that you're tuning into then when you, when you open to not taking it personally, you're not it, it's not your headache. There's just the experience of headache passing through as a much lighter, softer hold on it, which means fundamentally it can pass a lot quicker. Now, NPA has some fantastic results with headaches. I've got loads of testimonials from people who've, who've discovered the, and I, there's, some of them have had like sort of chronic headaches for years and found that just by not taking it personally, by realising it's not, it's not theirs, it's not part of them, you know, it can actually just be held lightly and just pass by itself because the body is an incredible device for, for healing itself, for allowing things to pass.

So if you take it personally, your, you're basically giving yourself that sort of you're, you're being Velcro to the sticky headache energy. So remember that even that headache is not personal. And finally in the raw number six, so if you hit with a bug or a flu this Christmas, remember it's not personal. So in a sense you might argue that it's the same and it's sort of is, it is just like a headache in a sense. But I wanted to make the point that the broader point that we can get very identified with are with an illness. We become the victim of why me? Why did I get the bug? It's not fair. You know, these are symptoms that you, you've taken it very personally. I mean you haven't been sort of singled out by some demonic force, you know, a high strike the with the headache or I strike the with the flu.

That's very, you know, middle, middle age, middle age as in the middle ages thinking really and it's not really the case. So again, I encourage you with sort of where it's burger or flu or whatever to think of it in terms of the weather, you know, it's like it's, it is no more personal than the rain. When you get the flu. And interesting to me that a lot of the sort of more spiritual, personal growth healing, he kind of thoughts kind of encourage you in a way to take things personally or it's my fault because I've got the shitty beliefs. Therefore why I've attracted a cold. And there's some, there's, there is some truth in that if you're cheating until you're taking it personally, it's going to hang around longer. But these things come and go. I think the gift of not taking things personally and getting out of the Velcro world is things can pass much quicker. That's why I say it's not about having no experience or dulling your emotions or, or, or stepping out of life. People often think of not taking something personally as sort of divorcing themselves from life's experience or disassociating. But it's really not about that. What it means is you can allow things to come to be experienced and pass, but that cycle of experience can happen a lot quicker and easier. So that's the run-up. Let's have a little look at Christmas day and boxing day. [music]

So Christmas day, the big day, let's get to number seven. So seven, if the kids don't express a terminal gratitude for their presence, remember, it's not personal. Kids are great, aren't they? They actually great practise for not taking things personally. If you've got kids you probably know that there's so many things kids can do that if you take the, and if you take it personally, being a parent, it's going to be ready. Fricking suppress stressful. But in terms of Christmas and the Christmas day, you know, they can get very tied up in their own excitement. So if they don't express that gratitude, like, you know, I'm so grateful you got me that Twinkie, toy Twinkie, toy. I don't know what that is. Tonka toy that's showing my age there. You know, it's okay. Just don't take it personally. Cause if you do, then what's going to happen is you're going to get into resistance and into fights with them.

Even if, if you do an internal struggle and even if you, if you get sort of hooked into it and then are able to let it go later, there's that moment of, of stress. So be prion that it's okay if I don't say thank you and be eternally grateful for that thing that you searched high and low. I mean, a concept one is like, you know, back in the day when, you know, you were searching for a cabbage patch doll and no one could find a cabbage patch doll and but if you were one of the people that queued up overnight to get a cabbage patch doll for your little honey, and then she just opens it and doesn't say thank you, it's easy to do the equation and then take that really personally, don't you know what I did for that? But they're just happy to have it, you know they're in their world.

They just want it and they've got it and they probably have no sense of what, what it's taken for you to, to earn the money for that present to to go find it. All the thought that's gone into it. It's OK. And by the way, just, you know, it really comes down to sort of behaviour and meaning. That's, that's the fundamental thing that's going on if you're taking that kind of thing. So it's always good to look at the meanings that you, that you gave or what it means about you. When you give a gift and don't get the response that you're looking for you in that way you are making about you there. And also on this one, I'm just, I'm not saying, by the way, don't educate your kids to, to sort of be polite. I'm, I'm encouraged. It's good to educate your kids to be polite, but it's very different.

Again, a very different education you give to them. But it's good to say thank you. It's polite to say thank you. And people generally respond to a thank you. If it's coming from a place where you've taken it personally, how you express that to your kids, it's gonna be very different and a much more sticky than if you haven't taken it personally. You've just noticed it. It might be quite good to mention that. A thank you would be in order. Okay. Number eight. So if you don't feel very well on the big day, remember it's not personal or easy. Cheating again is using illness.

Well in a sense, I am hell, it's Christmas. I've given myself a gift. So we have covered illness and, and how there is a sense of, it's kind of like whether or not to take it personally, but of Christmas day itself, it can seem almost like up. Do you know if all of this effort gone into Christmas and you don't feel very well on the day? But one thing that I think I wanted to say and why I brought that up again here is you might simply be exhausted and you know what? It's okay to be exhausted if you're someone, and especially my, my, we're going to get onto mother scene. But for the mothers out there, especially a bit, I'm kind of being generalistsic here. I know as far as getting better these days, but certainly the mothers who take on that role, especially mothers with kids, but that's with kids.

All mothers have kids, but mothers with little kids who go out do the Christmas shopping and everything else that they've got to do. There's a lot that goes into that and a lot of sense of pressure can happen. So so exhaustion is kind of almost like a natural thing. So one thing also I brought this up for in this context is a way that you can use NPA specifically to help you out in this situation. And that is to ask you, so if you download the sheet again, go to Beabrillianthuman.com/npasheet download the sheet. Question number two on that sheet as you set up the process is what would you like to experience those specific question on the sheet is what do you not experience and you'd like to allow to come. And then as a response to that and then you put whatever you find in the process and it helps you bring that in.

Similar to what we talked about with Barry, bringing love in. So getting a sense of what you'd like to experience and then running that through the process sort of opens you to, to that. So sometimes even if we're exhausted or not, well, we can still look at in the context of that, what would we like to allow to experience and open our doors to it, which is very different to taking it personally, getting in a fight and all stuck up in it and all tangled up in it, which doesn't really make any room for you to open to the other and therefore allow the body, the being in the mind to be in a much more resourceful state to allow these things to pass or at least for you to have a good time. Anyway. All right, number nine, I did. So we go onto mothers. So when your mother makes one of her remarks, remember it's not personal. A mother's how we take our mothers personally. So it's one of those things, it's kind of classic. Maybe you have a wonderful relation with your mother. I'm very happy for you if that's the case, but there is, Oh, you could include mother-in-law's here as well, by the way, if you really want to hammer home. But there's that thing where, you know, parents are over for Christmas dinner and you know, mum mentions how the potatoes are a little underdone.

And it just kinda cuts you to the core and you can take that very, very personally. So I'm going to give you a, a way to, a metaphor way to look at it, which is really good in general for when we take on other people's stuff. Again, that's similar to the in the supermarket or someone throwing harsh words your way. It really says more about her than you. But what might have a visualisation you can use is to imagine that a, imagine that you visit, you don't know an old school lunatic asylum. Okay? And that's not very PC in the whole mental wellbeing world. But bear with me, it's a metaphor, right? I'm painting a picture. So old school in a movie, lunatic asylum and you're walking down the aisles and you're visiting a bit like a zoo. Okay? You're going there because you know, you're visiting a lunatic asylum and you walk past one of the doors and one of the lunatics runs up to the door screaming hair.

While again, totally stereotypical. I know I own it completely and says, Oh, your potatoes are under done, your potatoes are under done. In that moment you'd be like, well, it's just going to take mega, let take. I have no idea what they're talking about. It's not about me, right? It's not about me. So if you can have that same metaphor slightly in your mind if your mother's in off remark mode, it's just her having a lunatic moment. It's okay. And you know what? Fundamentally, it's not about you. All right? That was number nine. Number 10, still on Christmas day. So if you don't win any of the Cracker pull offs, remember, it's not as, you know, not that I have any of you get of get the hump when you don't win any of the Cracker pull offs. Probably not. But it speaks to, it speaks to that sense of not getting what you want.

It speaks to that sense of competition or comparison. These are areas where over the festive period we can take things very personally and again, similar to what we talked about in the sort of, they're not getting the snuggle the Christmas party one. You could look at it in terms of if that or similar things are an issue for you. You can look at what is the identity that's that you've taken on. Maybe it's it's identity that you know, I'm a loser, right? If you, if you take on the ID, even if it's sort of hidden and subtle but it's there in you, then you're going to reflect that you can express it. The universe is going to respond accordingly. So no wonder you didn't win any of the, of, of the crack of the crack of polo offs. But fundamentally it's not personal. You don't have to take that on like it's a, a person in salt and if you do, then there's something to be looked at that's a bit deeper. So just have some fun with those kind of plots. You know what? Another practical response to that is, say you've got three toys. Can I have one? And they're nice. They're very awful. Does the guy show? Yeah, I didn't want that rubber. Anyway.

So there we go. So a final Christmas day, and it's number 11 on our 14 festive footballs. So when your family gets fractious over Christmas, remember it's not personal. So again, the weather analogy works really well here. So if there's a sort of, if fractiousness is kind of an energy, it's like a cloud that's hanging around the family and some of them are catching it. Cause these energies can be quite contagious. You don't have to get caught up on it up in it. Even so you know, it's, it's, it really is possible to be in a place where you're not tuning into that energy. And in fact, you can be a beacon of sanity in a lunatic asylum when that fractiousness is kicking off. Because if you get tangled up in it, if you make it about you, if you, if you take it on personally, then you're just going to be adding into it and adding to the energy of that way if you're going to be adding to the fractiousness in the household.

So the wonderful story of one of the MPA customers were part of the NPA community. And you know, told a story, I'm not sure if it was a Christmas, but it was a dinner party basically, and a family were around it and everything was kicking off around the dinner table. And she thought, Oh, you know, solve this for a game of soldiers, took her off to the loo, took herself off to the loo and thought you'd do an NPA process. So it took her just a couple of minutes while she's having to pay, cause that's how easy it is to use NPA, a voice of new pages and NPA process. And she said she stepped out and it was like she'd stepped into a different universe somehow by her catching the sense that it's not personal, that she could experience something else. It's kind of one of those NPA miracles really.

She stepped out of the loo and it was as if something, somehow everything had got resolved. It's almost like an, I sometimes a little bit joking a little bit for real say that the NPA lets you sort of jump into parallel universes. So she went like mr Ben, if you remember mr Ben, if you're old enough to remember mr Ben, the rest of I've got exciting. I haven't, I know I've mentioned it. Mr Ben was a programme when I was a kid where mr Ben would go into a, he'd walk down the street with his bowler hat on, go into a costume shop. He'd step into the into the change room, put his costume on, eat, enter the world or where it was going to the jungle or whether he was going to New York or somewhere, whatever outfit he was wearing. So that's a bit like that.

Deb's went into the loo like mr Ben and stepped out into the world where that fractious energy had just kind of disappeared all by itself, all by itself being part of one of the symptoms again that I see or this the one of the indicators of the power of NPA. So that's Christmas day folks. How about boxing day? Well, you know what, if they forgot to 12, by the way, if they forgot to call the, remember it's not personal. So you know what it's like someone, someone who's important to you, doesn't call you on Christmas day, come boxing day a bit like, eh, they haven't called me. And it's very easy to take that stuff personally. Now I'm not diminishing the fact that these things, you know, there are things that matter to you, relationships that matter to you or that it can feel sad and disappointing if someone we care about doesn't reach out.

But still the invitation here, remember, these are all invitations to remember. It's not personal. It's, it's remember that's a choice not to add the suffering on top by making it about you. So there are some just practical thoughts you can have in, and maybe they're tied up, maybe they're busy with something or whatever. But fundamentally it's not, you know, one way of saying it's, it's it's not personal. It's saying it's not your fault. You're not responsible. And you might say, well, I'm, you know, I'm not, I'm not saying it's about me there, I'm just saying that there are, there are bugger for not calling. But I think if you really look at the mirror of that, what's irking you inside? What's causing you to have those outward expressions of blame or accusation or how the disappointment comes out that way is the inside. It's touched you somehow. So that disappointment really is very much within yourself. Or the hurt is very much within yourself, which links back to your meanings that you're giving these things. And those meanings are meaning something about you, about who you are as a person or who you are and how you've behaved or those kinds of things. So they don't call you. Remember, it's not personal. So last, but one number 13, as you nurse a hangover, remember it's not personal overdid the eggnog.

So similar to headaches, hangovers, and, and base things and all sorts. NPA is amazing for these things. So you know, a hangover is, is a physical detox of some kind. Now, if you have gone on an absolute bender chances are there's going to be some impact on your body. But the thing is how we experience that can be very effected by the story we tell it, including if we take it personally, again, becoming a victim of it. So, so really allowing yourself to recognise that, well, it's, it's not personal. What that does is it means you hold it lightly. You're not in resistance to it. You're not getting tangled up in, Oh, I'm a bad person. I shouldn't have done that. Whatever the story is. Well, I'm the one against hangovers and everybody else gets away with it. Oh, how very dare they, I'm just not taking the hangover personally is a way actually to allow it to pass much quicker.

It puts the body in a state where it can do what it does and what it will need to do to deal with the excess alcohol and food and whatever else you've put down your gob over Christmas to, to deal with that a lot more efficiently. All right. Which brings us to number 14. If you're stuck in boxing day traffic, remember, it's not personal now these days, to be honest, there's traffic on Christmas Eve, Christmas day boxing at the least there is in this country. When I was a kid, it was, it was boxing day traffic. That was the thing to look out for. People generally, you know, the roads are pretty empty. I remember some times we went to houses on Christmas day and the roads were delightfully clear. Not so much now, but traffic in general. I mean, because this works all year round with traffic. So why on earth do we think that we can control when, where and how everybody else drives? I mean really, but that's what we do. We calm folks. I'm sorry. It's bad news. But but when you take traffic person, that's basically what you're saying. It should be different than it is. In other words, I should have complete control over other people's choices and behaviours so I can set things up to suit me.

So it's a year and a hiding to nothing. I love what Byron Katie says. She says, when you fight reality, you lose, but only a hundred percent of the time go to love. You're borrowing Katie for that one. So if you sat in traffic, don't take it personally, don't get tangled up in what should and shouldn't happen. Don't, don't get a sense of, you know, why is it happening to me? Don't get a sense that it's somehow these people have all come out just to piss you off for the on boxing day. You know, these are the kinds of ways that taking it on personally, getting, getting involved in it, tangled up in it, getting sticky with it can really cause you a lot of stress. So just take a moment. Chill, chill in the traffic, dude. It's Christmas. You will get the, and it's that you arrive wherever you're going. That's important. So that you go, there's my 14 FUBARs festive FUBARs to not take personally. So overall I think the general message is Christmas. Don't take it personally. Alright, let's wrap this thing up. [music]

Well, goodness gracious me. I thought this was going to be a short episode, but we're already about 42 minutes and thanks for with me. So thank you. In fact, just for listening, for taking the time, I hope you're enjoying your December. And that it's running smooth. So just a quick couple of things then just remember to go and get the NPAC. We haven't got that already. Go to to beabrillianthuman.com/npasheet, November, Papa alpha and and do, if you're curious about NPA, go ahead and just really invest in that core training. It's a fabulous offer there on that page and it will teach you how to use the process and how you can use it sort of throughout the well, the festive season and beyond for the rest of your life. God dammit for a few quid. And it really does make a difference.

And those people that do use a lot, they do find, they get to put on there, it's not personal glasses. And you do step from Velcro world where you really do take on other people's stuff to letting it kind of slide through and having a full, full and full of life and experience and juiciness. But without all of that sort of sticky stuff to get you booked down. And also just remember, stay after the move after the moo In fact, moooo if you want to hear that Christmas song, if you're still with me after all this time have a listen to that for a bit of fun. And of course, my Christmas asks this month obviously I would love you to subscribe, send me a message with feedback. And you know, do share, if you enjoyed the show come on to MPA rocks, find me on YouTube.

And, but their ask really is to share the new website, the beabrillianthuman.com to share it. Tell the folks why you love it. You hope assuming, you love it, you're still listening. And why you think it benefit them to listen to this podcast. You can just share typing, be able to, to human.com if you want to share this episode specifically or beabrillianthuman.com/10 whatever other episodes you feel would be a good starter for people. I would love you to do that for me as my Christmas present. Thank you so much. And I am, I am getting feedback from people mostly by email and on social media interestingly. So thank you for those of you who are getting in touch and saying that they're loving the show. And key this week sent me an email saying that, that she loved, that loved the show and I'm not, I haven't gotten in front of me so I can't say verbatim, but she basically said, have you been ever been asked to do a radio show? I love your voice. Thank you so much. No, come on BBC, get in touch.

So there we go. Right. That's it for me. It's the next week we're continuing the theme. I'll be taking a look at bah humbug syndrome, nevermind imposter syndrome. We're going to look at bah humbug syndrome, finding your happy Christmas. So I will see you. That'll be out next Tuesday. I will see you then. Otherwise, have a fantastic week. Listen to the song.