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The Surprising Secret Ingredient That Consistently Facilitates Healing | BABH S1Ep61

season 1 Nov 24, 2020

EPISODE 61: The Surprising Secret Ingredient That Consistently Facilitates Healing

In this episode you’ll discover, what I believe to be, THE biggest gift you can bring to any healing or facilitation situation.

This will be particularly pertinent if you are any kind of coach, healer or change maker, working with clients 1-on-1.

And, if you don't work with others as clients for change, then YOU will discover how this could also be THE biggest gift you can bring to YOUR life - for yourself, your family, friends and at work.

I think you're gonna love it, so click that play button and let's get in to it!


A Client Expresses It:

The clue to the ‘secret ingredient’ is in this testimonial I received from a 1:1 client:

“Working with Joel I have been surprised by, and so appreciated, the tender compassion and acceptance that he has brought to each session. He offered a genuine loving space with no judgement; even of feelings I had previously felt sooo ashamed of.

In the past I have experienced a certain level of acceptance with facilitators but when change hasn’t come or stuckness has shown up, the focus on ‘moving on’ or changing has taken over.

Joel’s approach has the flavour of open-handed compassion and shows a level of acceptance which feels as if it comes very naturally from him. For me though, it was a very new experience and I feel that those qualities have been key to me moving on as I have. Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having been offered all the time and space they needed to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.

Here I am a few months later finding myself in a more peaceful and happy place! Feeling more able to deal with life, with more space and compassion now coming from within me! yeah!! I’m very grateful.”

Jane G, UK


Agenda-less-ness (Having no agenda)

The problem with agendas – even ones with positive intent, even subtle energetic easily self-deniable ones – is that they:

  1. Apply pressure towards the intended outcome or route.
  2. Pressure tends to invoke resistance
  3. Resistance leads to friction and potential stuck-ness.
  4. That can lead to further pressure in support of the agenda
  5. And so begins an un-helpful loop.

And there-in lies the paradox, and the challenge for many a would-be power-user of NPA, and many a fine transformational practitioner. The question goes: “Surely if someone is paying me money to get some kind of outcome or result – shouldn’t I be doing everything in my power to get them there? Or at least to help them get themselves there!!??”

The trouble is, all that “I, me, them, their, there” stuff is based on personal power.

Personal power requires a person.

Persons come with an agenda.

Agenda’s come with timelines, outcomes, comparisons, judgements, intentions… that leads to right ways and wrong ways both overt and covert… that leads to dogma and dogma leads to blindness… I think you get the idea.

How Does Agenda-less-ness Consistently Facilitate Healing?

As you get out of the way (drop the agenda) things begin to resolve all by themselves… in wonderful, effortless and sometimes miraculous ways.

Working agenda-less-ly with Jane meant that we met in a state of mutual, gentle discovery. It was like watching a flower blossom… and how personally are you involved in that process?

As Jane put it, “Those more tender/”dark”/”stuck” feelings, having been offered all the time and space they needed to feel safe and relax, let down their defences and change of their own accord.”

They (the feelings) let down their defences and changed of their own accord…

And THAT is how having no agenda consistently facilitates healing, transformation, evolutions in consciousness and love.

Let Me Help You

If you would like to experience some agenda-less 1:1 work then get in touch and let's have a chat about some 1:1 sessions with me


Episode 60 Focuses on Embracing Polarity... polarities being BIG sources of agenda LISTEN HERE



Find out more about The NPA Process: Advanced Training (launching soon - get on the wait-list)

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