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Is It Time To Choose Life With The Lid Off? | BABH S1Ep81

season 1 Apr 20, 2021

EPISODE 81: Is It Time To Choose Life With The Lid Off?
5 Steps To Set Yourself Free

Do you live life with the lid firmly locked down?

Do you imagine having the freedom to fully express yourself in all situations, but feel that’s somehow out of reach for you?

Maybe you make a good show of openness… you’re approachable, friendly and happy to talk about things?

But if you’re a ‘lid on’ person and, if you get truly honest with yourself, aren’t you selective about what you share?

Those deeper, more challenging aspects of you… it’s those things you keep under the lid.

If this is ringing uncomfortable bells, then you probably sell yourself the story that keeping those things under the lid is the best choice for everyone.

Perhaps even that those things don’t really matter, and anyway what difference would it make to share them anyway?

But as long as we’re being really honest here, it’s probably truer that you’re shit scared of what would happen if it ever came off!?

In this episode I’m going to pour some petrol on the fire inside you that is burning to break free. That fire that longs for you to really show up in the world; be seen, be heard and be confident in sharing the WHOLE of you… especially the messy stuff.

I’m going to lay out a safe path from the ‘lid on’ to the ‘lid off’ life, so you know there’s a way to get what you’ve always longed for: A life where you matter, you get your needs met and you stay connected in the process.

Click that play button and let's get to it!

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Life With The Lid On: 

Life with the lid on (or situations where you keep a lid on it) is about suppression of your authentic self; usually for fear of some imagined dire consequence.

Life With The Lid Off: 

Life with the lid off is a life where you feel empowered, authentic and free in your relationship to the world. You embody authentic vulnerable communication, strong boundaries, peace with temporary ‘non-peace’ and necessary confrontation. You are fearlessly honest and clear about where you're at, what you want and who you are. 

5 Steps To Set Yourself Free

  1. Re-Define Your Response To Those Emotional ‘Warning Signs’
  2. Tell The People That Love You, That You’re Committed To Change
  3. Ask For Their Understanding And Support
  4. Help Them Help You
  5. Stumble Forward Gracefully 

You Can Do It!

The good news is, you’re naturally pre-disposed to be good at it! You’ve trained yourself in all the right skills:

  • You’ve learned to spot the warning signs…

  • You’re learned all you can about communicating diplomatically…

  • You’ve built up a natural ‘grit’, a stoic inner self…

  • Your nature is full of love and naturally inclined to forgiveness and understanding…

It’s just about applying these skills to a different end.

  • Warning signs go from signals to suppress, to signals to communicate.

  • Communicating diplomatically goes from diffusing conflict out of fear of escalation and assertion, to communicating your needs in a way it can be received by others.

  • That stoic inner self goes from self protection to self support.

  • Forgiveness, love and understanding of others at your expense, becomes an engine of self-forgiveness, self-love and self-understanding which underpins a sustainable path to change… AND supports others to stay the course with you.

Support Can Really Help: Let Me Help You

Consider getting coached through the process. This is majorly life enhancing stuff and you’re worth the investment. As you can probably tell, I’m really passionate about this topic, I know the territory and if you’d like that coaching to be with me, then I’d looove to help you.

You can check out my session details and even set up a quick chat with me: Get in touch and let's have a chat about some 1:1 sessions with me

NPA Mastery

If you are interested in finding out how you can work with people 1:1 in powerful resistance-free ways, then take a look at our NPA Mastery Programme or email me for a chat via [email protected].


Episode 2 Supports this episode with more on starting where you are and taking sustainable steps LISTEN HERE

Episode 78 While this focuses on more inter-personal relationships, the points are valid for your relationship with yourself, where you can also find yourself going round in circles  LISTEN HERE


For in-depth training on how to live the resistance-free way, find out more and jump in to The NPA Process: Advanced Training 

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