This episode was inspired by a listener who asked me to cover the topic of Guilt.
As feelings go, guilt is pretty gnarly, and yet so many people live with it day in, day out and sometimes hold on to guilt for decades!
But not all guilt is bad and today I’ll tell you why.
I’m gonna give you a road map for dealing with guilt so you’ll know how to overcome feeling guilty.
We’ll be looking at it through the lens of Good Guilt vs Bad Guilt (the 2 kinds of guilt), plus I’ll talk a little on guilt vs shame…
Now, fair warning, this episode contains some tough love…
But if there’s old guilt you’ve been living with and you want to be free,
or if you truly want to know how to navigate guilt going forward,
hit that play button, buckle up and let’s dive in!
Quick Links from this episode:
Guilt is simply a signal
It indicates a value boundary has been crossed
There are 2 kinds of guilt - good and bad
It's not actually the guilt that’s bad, it’s the signal settings that define it..
Identify value then…
Defining question:
Does this value serve you (does it work for you, is it aligned now)…
YES - good guilt - take some corrective/repair actions
NO - bad guilt - shift the value (change the narrative)
From unconscious (or bullshitting ourselves) to conscious...
The Internal Value Patrol - like the police it simply follows the laws you set.
The value is off
Shift the narrative (Ep109) - inquire
Sometime the realisation is enough - you just didn’t realise and now you see it as a bullshit value…
a hand-me-down from a parent or teacher
a self induced survival strategy
Sometimes not so straight forward…
You’re going to need to face the secondary gains
Sometimes chronic guilt can feel weirdly more comfortable than the freedom you say you want!
Why?
Because… of a bunch of fears…
what will others think (See Ep93 feeling responsible)
what if I test my freedom theory and fail - better the devil you know
You have to be willing to call yourself out - that’s the hidden positive intent of bad guilt - remember it’s just a signal
Maybe you just don’t feel guilty enough yet, eh?
Examine the cost of staying here and the benefit of shifting the narrative.
It’s your choice! Wallowing is an option.
Corrective action…
Speaking of the burden - here’s where people get stuck…
Good guilt gone bad…
Genius changemakers, coaches and wellbeing practitioners all have one thing in common:
They get out of their own way and let the magic happen through them.
No agenda, no resistance and no limiting self-consciousness in the healing space.
It seems like a gift; innate and reserved for the chosen ones... but the reality is, it's a skill.
In this training, you will uncover that Mastery in yourself.
Email me for a chat via [email protected].
If you'd like some expert support as you undergo this process (especially if you're having a hard time with this kind of situation) then reach out and let me help you.
You can check out my session details and even set up a quick chat with me: Get in touch and let's have a chat about some 1:1 sessions with me.
Episode 109 Goes deeply into the arena of shifting your narrative or story: LISTEN HERE
Episode 93 Will help you with the confusion between feeling responsible and caring for other people's emotions, a common cause of bad guilt: LISTEN HERE
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