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The Power Of Self-Parenting (Healing The Inner Child) | BABH S1Ep89

season 1 Jun 15, 2021

EPISODE 89: The Power Of Self-Parenting (Healing The Inner Child)

Have you ever had a thought along the lines of...

"If only I had received more A/B/C when I was a kid... then life would be so much easier!"?

Well you wouldn't be alone and, if you're listening to this podcast, it's unlikely you feel you had a perfect childhood.

There's a LOT of good in the idea of healing the inner child, but there's also a lot of ways where that medicine can become the poison (or at least we can get stuck and/or debilitated by some of the ideas around it)

So in this episode we're going to a look at where you might be getting stuck or being disempowered in relation to healing your inner child.

Plus I'll share my perspective on the power of self-parenting and how it can accelerate your inner child healing and set you free.

I'll also give you 3 powerful exercises so you can put this into action today!

So hit that play button and let's dive into it!


Symptoms of Inner Cild Healing Stuck-ness/Disempowerment

  • Struggling with childhood issues
  • The idea that your parents are to blame
  • Wanting your parents to be (or have been) different
  • Waiting for your parents (or another person who's supposed to meet your needs) to change or 'learn'

Which leads to...

  • Feeling like a victim
  • Delayed healing (waiting for the middle man)
  • Projecting parental issues onto loved ones
  • Feeling disempowered or 'broken'

Examples of Issues That May Be Inner Child Related 

  • Unworthiness
  • Lack of validation/praise
  • Feeling invisible
  • Feeling like you don't matter
  • Anger/hurt at life
  • A sense of lack
  • Moments of feeling scared, hurt or lost

Parenting Yourself

  • Parenting yourself is cutting out the middle man
  • Thinking in terms of parental energy de-personalises the source of your needs
  • Allows you to become self-contained and more empowered
  • You have 'instant access' to what you need
  • Speeds up the healing process
  • Promotes personal integration
  • Promotes deeper self-trust
  • Promotes greater trust in the world at large; a sense of safety in the world

Exercise 1: Healing Letter

Write a letter from your parent that says all the things you needed to hear

  • Address it to yourself 'Dear Your Name'
  • Take the leap of imagination that the parent writing it has been magically transformed into your idea of the perfect version of themselves; fully able to see you, hear you, know what you need(ed) and express it
  • Write it out, then read it out loud
  • You can also do this for non-parents eg. a spouse
  • You can also write the letter from the parental energy within you

Exercise 2: Healing Dialogue

Have a conversation between your younger self and your parent that is able to say all the things you needed to hear

  • Imagine a safe space where your younger self and your parent could meet and talk
  • Take the leap of imagination that the parent you are conversing with has been magically transformed into your idea of the perfect version of themselves; fully able to see you, hear you, know what you need(ed) and express it
  • Start with the younger you expressing what hurt them
  • Don't judge the younger you's expression (it's not their job to be conscious)
  • Let the parent respond (from that resourceful space)
  • Allow the conversation to go back and forth as necessary, ensuring the parent doesn't lapse into a less resourceful version of themselves
  • You can also do this for non-parents eg. a spouse
  • You can have the conversation with the parental energy within you (this can be particularly useful if it feels too hard to access a positive version of an actual parent/spouse etc)

Exercise 3: NPA with Parental Energy

Use The NPA Process to access and experience the parental energy that the child energy needs

  • Download The NPA Process sheet if you haven't already
  • Use Q2 on the sheet to discover what the inner child needs
  • Follow the instructions on the sheet to access the key word/phase (Cookie Cutter) and use that for the process
  • Speak the words out loud
  • Simply allow your experience.

Support Can Really Help: Let Me Help You

If you'd like some expert support as you undergo this process (especially if you're having a hard time accessing the 'positive' aspects of your parents) then reach out and let me help you.

You can check out my session details and even set up a quick chat with me: Get in touch and let's have a chat about some 1:1 sessions with me


Episode 88 Self-Parenting was one of 7 contemplations in this episode. You can get the other 6 if you LISTEN HERE

Episode 36 Looks more at the idea of forgiveness, and specifically soe inner work on forgiving yourself LISTEN HERE

Episode 27 With a little adaptation this powerful exercise can also be used to aid self-parenting. Plus there's a comprehensive free download to go along with this mini-training: LISTEN HERE


For in-depth training on how to live the resistance-free way, find out more and jump in to The NPA Process: Advanced Training 

Click image to get The NPA Process Sheet for free 👆🏻

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